


Future Present

by Wolfsbride



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-29 19:17:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3907576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfsbride/pseuds/Wolfsbride
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock Prime contemplates the consequences of meddling with the new timeline.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Future Present

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RimauSuaLay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RimauSuaLay/gifts).



> A belated birthday present for my good friend RimauSuaLay. I can't believe it's been over sixteen years, you old bag :P~

Ambassador Spock sat on his floor mat, in deference to his aging knees, fingers steepled under his chin. He was supposed to meditating, but in actuality he was studying the young man sprawled on his bed. He supposed that, in itself, was a meditation of sorts. 

The sheet fell to the man’s waist, baring his back and highlighting the rounded swell of his buttocks. The morning light gilded his hair and skin, turning both a burnished gold. His skin, smooth and supple with youth, was marred only by a series of bites that wended their way down the nape of his neck and beyond the cloth’s protection. They stirred something he’d thought sated in the long hours of the night, and he felt a flicker of guilt at his deliberate tampering with this timeline.

When he’d seen _this_ Jim on that desolate planet, he’d experienced the twin emotions of shock and joy. He’d barely been able to keep the elation from his voice. Close on the heels of that delight however, was the grief at the reminder that _his_ Jim was forever out of his reach. It was no wonder that coupled with the psychic shock of his planet’s destruction, he’d been unable to moderate the meld he’d initiated.

When they’d pulled apart, Jim’s face was wet with tears. _Emotional transference_ : it went both ways. This Jim Kirk’s essence burned with a terrible brilliance, like a dying super nova, so unlike the steady warmth of the Kirk he knew. And yet, there were some things that remained the same: reckless, brave, passionate.

Spock’s gaze ran over Jim’s nearly nude body. He’d been sincere when he’d spoken about Jim’s destiny with his younger self. He recalled the first time they encountered denizens of an alternate reality; when Kirk and his landing party had been switched with duplicates from a parallel universe. In the myriad of possible universes, he couldn’t imagine any where he and Kirk were not together. 

It was never his intention to leave the role of mentor behind. He’d worked to encourage friendship between this universe’s versions of himself and his Captain and if he’d suffered pangs of regret for opportunities lost; for lack of courage to take that one last step, he had kept it to himself. Or so he’d presumed.

But he had failed to consider Jim. _This_ Jim who was impulsive, filled with insecurity overlaid with bravado. This Jim who had seen in that fleeting mingling of their minds his yearning and seemed determined to give him his heart’s desire.

And now here he was – a relic of an alternate past, clinging to a possible future. Knowing that this wasn’t _his_ James Kirk didn’t stop him from being drawn in. It wasn’t even the ways in which the two Kirks were similar that intrigued him. It was the differences that sparked his curiosity; his need to explore; to discover. James Kirk was, and would always be, fascinating.

But was it right to take that which he’d denied himself? He was in the twilight of his life, while Jim was in the first flush of his youth. What had he changed by giving into his long held emotions? Would this Jim Kirk reach his full potential despite his involvement? A groan from the bed pulled Spock out his reverie.

"Stop thinking so hard.” Rolling over, Kirk turned to face Spock. “You’re giving me a headache.” His voice was still rough with sleep and he squinted at Spock, frowning slightly. “What’s wrong?”

Relaxing his pose, Spock curbed his innate reaction to reassure Jim that he was fine. To protect was reflex, even if it was emotional rather than physical. “I believe I have done you a disservice, Jim.”

Sitting up, Kirk shifted backwards until he could lean against the head of the bed. He rubbed a hand over his face, yawning as he did so, and shook his head, trying to wake his still groggy mind. “In what way?”

"You are aware of my age.”

Kirk sighed. “Yes, and given the very strenuous activity we were involved in last night, I’m pretty sure you’re not going to pop off any time soon."

“Soon no. But I am aged even by Vulcan standards.”

Throwing off the sheet, Kirk got out of bed and joined Spock on the floor. Reaching out, he stroked his fingertips across the back of Spock’s hand, smiling at the slight shudder that his touch elicited. “I know. But even you don’t know when that time will be. It could be a year from now, five years, ten. In fact, it’s probable that I’ll pop off before you do, given the state of things.” 

Spock’s hand jerked under his, and Kirk cursed his stupidity for the brief moment before he was hit with a stab of pain, the twin echoes of past and present washing over him. Curling his fingers around Spock’s hand, he breathed deeply, accepting the consequences of his unthinking remark. As the ache faded away, he leaned against Spock. “Sorry.”

It was a moment before Spock spoke again. “It is…” Spock paused. “A logical assumption.” He turned his hand and laced his fingers with Kirk’s.

"Yeah.” Kirk stared at their hands. “What else? That isn’t all that’s bothering you.”

His question was greeted with silence and Kirk squeezed Spock’s hand. “You think you’ve changed my future by being here with me now.” 

Spock nodded and rubbed his thumb against Kirk’s skin. 

“Again that’s something you can’t know. The future isn’t set. Maybe it’ll be better; maybe it’ll be worse. I don’t care. I’m not giving you up.”

“Selfish.” Which really was the crux of it. He was keeping something that might not be his to possess. Still, like Jim, he could not find it within himself let go.

Turning his head, Kirk nuzzled Spock neck, before muttering. “After the life we’ve both had, we deserve to be selfish.”

"Indeed.”


End file.
